Sevil, Valentines Day and my chilhood...

I must have been 5 or 6 years old when I met you.

It was either at the end of a school day, or possibly I was returning from a weekend at my Dad’s...

I saw you on the living room sofa, sitting wearing a micro mini skirt… And a shy smile…

Who were you?

As we were introduced, I was told you were my Uncle Yusuf’s girl friend.

Well next thing I remember…

We were all visiting your family & childhood home.

It was vastly different the Sisli(Istanbul) apartment that we were living in…

A wooden Victorian old house in Yesilkoy (suburb of Istanbul)…

Your mom & Dad… your sister Meral Abla, tons of cats…

All so different but somehow much warmer…

Then I remember your engagement, the Military Service years, Ankara…

Our conversations were so fluid, as if there was no 15 years of an age difference…

I listened to you & you listened to me… & heard me!

I remember your wedding… In the Beyoglu registry building…

Then the reception in Tarabya Kosem Restaurant…
I was the only kid invited…

So proud… and feeling so special…

I got drunk for the first time that evening… I had my first champagne ever…My head was spinning…

From age 6 to 16 my life resembled a bit to a tropic island…

With calm beautiful days and at times interrupted by tropical storms…

And you felt all this, because you were extremely sensitive…

Maybe that is why, I end up spending the February school breaks in Yesilkoy with you guys… to avoid the storms.

We would spend our days in the farmers markets, we would read gossip magazines, sip our Turkish tea…

Always chatting about what to prepare for dinner…

For you also preparing dinner, to feed others & art of eating was always a huge ritual & pleasure…

Especially if it involved pasta, or the green Turkish plums with coarse salt…

It was one of those days when I made my first dish/dessert for you… (the only one I knew how to?) I must have been 10 or 11 years old.

It was “Flan”.

Now that I think about it... Knowing all that you did, having a degree in home economics & cooking, and all your abilities…

Why did you push me to make this dish? Could it be because you were trying to validate me? To encourage me? Or unleash my creativity?

All is possible thus you are that kind.

Years went by and you became a mother twice yet you had 3 children... (the twins)

I became a teen ager & got pre-occupied with my friends…

Then I moved to USA, there were countries & oceans between us now…

So much had changed, yet in a way so much remained the same…

I also became a father twice with 2 kids…

Yet you still called me "kucuk arkadasim" my little friend…

I am 47 now...

I am bold and the little hair I have has turned grey…

Yet my beautiful Aunt, that child whom you have supported, protected, understood, listened to, and each moment we shared… will always remain as a detail that made me who I am…

Today instead of asking why? How? How come? Wish we were? Wish we had?

I honor those beautiful memories… warm in my heart…

Kind of like the flans, toped with the burnt sugar… Sweet & bitter…

Like life:  bitter & sweet…

Your name is “Sevil” meaning “Be loved”

And today is Valentine’s day...
And your birthday...

This day should not only be for those who are LOVERS, yet the ones we love…
One or many…

What is important is who has touched our souls?…

Who has affected the change?…

You have affected me…

I wish to all the ones that love and are loved by somebody…

A very beautiful “Valentine’s Day”

{FLAN}

Ingredients:

• 1 cup and 1/2 cup sugar
• 6 large eggs
• 1 14oz can sweetened condensed milk
• 2 13 oz cans evaporated milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. You will need 6 ramekins or other specialty flan cook ware and a large baking pan to put them in.

Pour 1 cup sugar in warm pan over medium heat. Constantly stir sugar until is browns and becomes caramel. Quickly pour approximately 2-3 tablespoons of caramel in each ramekin, tilting it to swirl the caramel around the sides. Reheat caramel if it starts to harden.

In a mixer or with a whisk, blend the eggs together. Mix in the milks then slowly mix in the 1/2 cup of sugar, then the vanilla. Blend smooth after each ingredient is added.

Pour custard into caramel lined ramekins. Place ramekins in a large glass or ceramic baking dish and fill with about 1-2 inches of hot water. Bake for 45 minutes in the water bath and check with a knife just to the side of the center. If knife comes out clean, it's ready.

Remove and let cool. Let each ramekin cool in refrigerator for 1 hour. Invert each ramekin onto a small plate, the caramel sauce will flow over the custard.